Friday, March 5, 2010

Ninja Assassin: Isn't That Kind Of Like Saying Overweight Fat Guy?

I was fairly confident from the title of the film that I knew what I was getting into, a martial arts flick with not a lot of effort wasted on the story. That statement is more or less true, but it really doesn't prepare you for the experience.

Right with the first opening scene, you're treated to an overwhelming amount of gore, just as much as you'd find in the typical slasher horror flick. To further confuse you, the martial arts scenes are mostly "augmented" with CG weapons, blood, motion blur, and Matrix-esque slow motion segments.

Truly the level of ridiculousness present is more akin to something you'd find in an anime. You've got people that move so fast that they disappear, can heal mortal wounds and throw throwing stars with the same rate of fire and velocity as submachine gun rounds.

The story was ultimately bland and cliched, although the acting and writing weren't particularly terrible, just nothing we haven't seen in a hundred movies before.

Bottom line, if you wondered what you'd get if you crossed the Matrix, Kill Bill, and a Hong Kong kung fu flick, this is for you. If you're squeamish about blood, or overly hung up on story elements, keep walking.

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