Skip to main content

Terra Nova: Why The Hell Am I Watching This?


Hey! It's Fall again! That means it's time for new shows!

Terra Nova is Steven Spielberg's baby, pretty much the only thing I knew about it going in was that it had something to do with dinosaurs, and that I'd read a handful of articles about how many problems there were filming and producing the first couple of episodes.

Our story kicks off in the year 2149 where the planet Earth is a smog ridden, overpopulated hell-hole. Everyone breathes through masks when they're out in the open, if they're smart, and there are population control measures in place, everyone's limited to two children, with propaganda all over the place "A Family Means 4".

Our hero, a Hugh Jackman knockoff, is a police detective that for some unknown reason decided to have a third child. During a surprise inspection, they hide kidlet #3 in the air duct, but when the breeder police knock something heavy over, she squeals. At this point, Superdad goes apeshit, and starts kicking the crap out of his fellow cops.

Flash forward to two years later, Superdad's serving 8 years in solitary confinement, breathing unfiltered air, and his wife visits to tell him that they've been recruited for the Terra Nova project. Terra Nova is a colony that's been made on the other side of a crack in time, that lets out onto an alternate timeline Earth 85 million years in the past. I assume, that part of the goal is to start a new civilization on an unsullied Earth, while trying not to screw it up like they did with the current one.

Okay, so the wifey (she's a medial doctor, which is why she gets to take her family to a planet with a future) smuggles Superdad some kind of laser scalpel, so that he can break out of prison, and then into the Terra Nova staging facility. Just to let us know that it's not that easy, security manages to find their ass with both hands and a flashlight, and confront him right in front of the rift, he manages to shake them loose, however, and makes it to a new world, where he can reestablish the tradition of not following any of the goddamn rules, and overpopulating the planet.

Okay, I'm not going to belabor the point, Superdad really wants to be a cop in the new settlement, but sinister colony dictator (playing pretty much the same role he did in the movie Avatar) puts him on gardening, which he blows off to stalk a suspicious character.

So, he never follows the rules, doesn't learn from his mistakes, but apparently not following the rules makes you a really good cop, so they put him on security. Basically, no one in this show manages to evoke any kind of empathy from me, because they're either idiots, assholes, or completely bland.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Marvel's Civil War II is even stupider than the first one

Mainstream comics are inherently ridiculous, which is probably why I enjoy them so.  Lately, by which I mean for at least the last decade, the trend from Marvel and DC has been to have a big "universe changing" event that mostly happens in it's own limited series, while splashing out into the majority of other titles being published at the time.

Probably the first that I really followed, at least as an adult, was the first Civil War series. Brief synopsis: Lesser known superhero team fights a team of villains, and an entire school full of children get called, backlash is that the government institutes mandatory regulation and training of anyone that tries to be a superhero, Captain America is against, Iron Man is for, they fight. I tried to read all of the tie-in books, but ultimately got really annoyed when different writers decided to write the same character, at roughly the same time, and get them completely different. If you read the chronological order, you go direc…

Toy Review: Tekkaman Blade & Pegas

Today I've got Tekkaman Blade & Pegas from Bandai's Soul of Chogokin SPEC line. SPEC is a subset of the Soul of Chogokin, and is supposed to feature more modern characters, in more toy like incarnations, also typically with less metal content. This is the first SPEC toy that I've ever picked up. There have been a couple of different cartoons feature the Tekkaman character, none of which have I seen, but from what I've gathered, this toy is based on the designs from the 90's OVA Tekkaman Blade. In the cartoon an invading alien force abducts humans and turns them into cyborg warriors called Tekkamen. Blade is the title character, and he manages to escape being fully brainwashed, in order to return to Earth and thwart the invasion. The conversion process being icomplete, he has some disadvantages, which require him to use the larger mech, Pegas as a means of transforming into his Tekkaman form, also he can only stay in his Tekkaman form for 30 minutes, or risk goin…

CM's Star Gaogaigar

So, this is Star Gaogaigar from the King of Braves Gaogaigar cartoon, one of the infamous Brave series of cartoons. Basically, the Brave series was a handful of cartoons with toylines supported by Takara after the original Transformers line had stopped being profitable. Each series was unrelated to the last, and was heavily aimed towards selling toys, featuring a lot of combining figures, especially centered around a central hero character, which would combine with just about everything else under the sun for various upgrades. A lot of Transformers fans consider the toys to these cartoons as the spiritual successors of the original Transformers line.

I've never watched the cartoon, so instead, here's the opening:







Now that that's out of the way, look at that box! It's huge! Height and width, it's about on par with the larger Soul of Chogokin boxes, but the thing that's really odd about it, is that it's just as deep as it is tall, if you look at it from the sid…